Over the weekend I witnessed something that sparked a desire to talk with you woman to woman about keeping yourself safe, in situations that between you and your significant other or spouse can start small but then snowball into something big and possibly out of control.
Your man knows how to push those buttons that tick you off and make you crazy…(just like you know his) and then the thing is… that he can be so calm and cool, while your pissed and upset that if someone comes around that hasn’t seen the WHOLE picture they would think that you are a little crazed!
So now you’re arguing or maybe not really arguing because he’s not saying anything which of course makes you madder! And before you know it, to get his attention and show how pissed off you are you’ve gone to that next step! YoU hit him! Now that’s where I really worry… Yes! He may have given you every reason in the world to feel justified in hitting him but…..hopefully you’re man is man enough to not hit you back… but know that there are men of the mindset that if you want to dish it out like a man you should be able to take it like a man and they hit you back! Now, the original problem is compounded by a physical altercation.
Ladies…you do not want a man to have the excuse of saying “well she hit me first” as a reason to hurt you…and understand too that if you hit your man he may respond out of instinct of protecting himself first and that it’s a woman second and…if alcohol or drugs are in the mix that’s more fuel for the fire.
Being angry …I’m sorry to say does not give us the right to physically harm our men…and trust me I have in my life time had an occasion or two of wanting to lash out at a significant other, thinking that I would at least feel better…however,I know that every action begets a reaction and two wrongs don’t make a right and more important I always believe that I have to answer to a higher power for my actions! ( That is what has kept me sane! 🙂 )
Keep in mind that when we reduce our relationships to verbal and physical abuse we are chipping away at the respect for ourselves as well as the other party…and even if we say I’m sorry… it’s very difficult to take hurtful things back once they have rolled off your tongue and… once respect is lost everything else begins to go with it at which time we really need to reevaluate why we are in the relationship?
Do you have fair fighting tips to share?
Would you attend couples workshops to learn how to be better partners and communicators before problems arise?
I invite you to check out my book, A Wise Woman’s Guide to Healing and Happiness at http://www.ameenahross.com for more tools for happier living. – Ameenah