So your man walked out on you! Now what??

It’s been almost two years since my husband abandoned me. Now I’ve seen this kind of stuff on Life Time, and read about it in the soap magazines, but do people really up and walk away with no rhyme or reason or attempted sorry excuse?

Well I am here to say from firsthand experience that Yes they do!

My husband announced to me that he was leaving so casually that I kept waiting for him to say “you know honey… I’m just joking …”so I could tell him that it wasn’t funny.

It was a Sunday morning and we were going through our normal ritual of stripping the sheets from the bed and gathering towels to do laundry.  Our home, like many others in our middle class neighborhood, was upside down with no equity or help for modification. Frustrating….But life has its ups and downs…you ride them like a big wave, with the faith that in the end you’ll be okay…

The conversation went like this, me… “So honey what do you want to do?

“I’m sick of this house and sick of dumping my money into it; (he seemed to forget that our money was being dumped into it) the bank can take the keys I’m sick of it. They can have it! Let it go into foreclosure!”

“Okay…”I say…”but…If we let it go into foreclosure where will we live? This will go on our credit report.”

“We get a place before it goes on the credit report…” he said, as I’m holding a crumbled sheet in my arms, and watching him stuff the other one into the laundry basket. He then turns to me and says, “No, I’m going to get a place before it gets on the credit report! I’m leaving the house and this marriage!”

Now at this point… my heart is skipping beats uncontrollably and I’m thinking… what just happened here? I ask… “Did you just say you’re leaving the house but I’m not going with you? What?” Suddenly I’m feeling sick to my stomach.

As he continues to stuff clothes into the laundry basket he mumbles something about “I wouldn’t understand…”

We were 5 days away from family and friends coming to town to celebrate my son’s college graduation…7 days from celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary, and two weeks away from one of my dreams coming true:  I was a published author about to have a book signing in “Barnes & Nobles”.

Was this the same man that told me two weeks earlier at dinner, before leaving for a business conference, how beautiful I was and how much he loved and was proud of me? Was this the same man that at thanksgiving told my family how happy he was that he was so loved and accepted by everyone?

To this day my husband has never told me why he left… I surely didn’t know then, and I don’t care to know now.

I truly believe God had been preparing me for that day. The book I had written was called “Depression Free…A Wise Woman’s Guide to Healing and Happiness.”  The day of my book signing, a few women walked up to me, and along with having their copies signed, they wanted to share with me what they were going through. I told them that I knew the tools in the book were useful because they gave me the ability to stay sane at a very crazy moment in my life!

A close co- worker of mine still reminds me to this day how amazed she is at how I handled that life altering stage I went through. She says she would have gone crazy.  That however is where our tough life choices come into play. It’s not what happens to us, but how we handle what happens to us.

  • Pray and count your blessings
  • Choose to keep your P.O.W.E.R. ( see below)
  • Don’t allow what he did to depress you
  • Understand that love is sometimes not enough…a person has to want to fix their own issues

P.ray and keep God first!

O.utsmart an energy drainer

W.ear your confidence with style

E.mpower your dreams

R. ise above your circumstances

You may ask: why would I share such a personal story with you? Well…there’s a great saying by Maya Angelou…”when you have been healed…Go out and heal someone else!” It is what it is…but if my sharing helps you or someone you know then my pain and experience has not gone in vain.

Life is too short to be bogged down with stuff! So let Go and let God…Choose to be happy!!

Ameenah Ross is a nurse, freelance writer, and author of the inspirational book: Depression Free, A Wise Woman’s Guide to Healing and Happiness.

 pic for web



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